Gentleness

這一刻

Celebration

I live because I am.
I smile because it is natural.
I am here for an impulse within to serve.
I walk across the mountains, carrying life’s burdens, wearing my good leather shoes or no shoes at all.
I dress up every day according to my heart, for that IS the purpose.
I paint my nails because my hands and feet express in colors.
I eat and drink not because of schedules, tastes or conditioning, but how my body feels this moment.
I sprint, I pause, I collapse, whenever it is truly called for.
I teach my eyes to see through the heart, so every moment I am with beauty.
I am the mother, the father, the friend, sometimes all at the same time to my child.
When I am lonely or sick, I humbly invite my soul to be with me again.
I say thank you when I wish to cry.
I celebrate all that I am.

I Love You

I am quite forgetful and require much reminding.

And in my life, there are many benevolent Souls who have agreed to help me remember, the truth of who I am.  Relationships are my very precious lessons of this lifetime. I have learned and learned and still have not mastered the lesson of not giving my power away when in a relationship. However, as I mature in consciousness, I am less and less inclined to allow this lovelessness to be in my life.

My will to learn has been stubborn like a bull. However much I have been completely stripped naked in selfness in a relationship, it has not made me retreat and afraid to learn more. I know the only way for me the return to true Harmony is to face myself.

Every happening in life is my own creation, those that guide me to return are co-creations with the Divine. The creations of my life recently, has pointed to nothing but the urgency to truly learn this lesson. This time, though, Moments rather than Time existed. The lining up of events and its unfolding and completion all existed within the rhythm of moments. Bang, bang, bang. Each moment counted, and the choice of each moment, completely changed the next moment and so on. And without even realizing, what has been always has dawned. The stepping in is not grand, but natural.

I have come to the point where I will not allow the lovelessness to be anymore. Not from hurt or contraction, but from opening to a point where the inner-heart floods every cell of my being, and the energy of Fire within my heart is pulsing every space within. It is impossible to perpetuate the lovelessness, simply.

And in true and deep Love, I wear a smile that if you would only feel, is embracing you in the deepest Love, that we all are. And it is with this smile, I continue to walk forward, holding my arms open to share this Love with every Soul I am to meet.

I Love You.

Meeting Femaleness

To find oneself, many times we first deny who we are.A child at 12 being innocently denied of her openness to love and to share her love, grew up embodying all the religious connotations of what it means to be proper with her body and her sex. She breathed and lived guilt with each step in life. Yet the life within her refused to be denied. The more it was repressed, the harder it wants to express. The child was too tired to fight and too scared to speak out, repeatedly her life was snuffed and her voice disappeared. She was ready to give up life. At 12, she died symbolically in a car accident, miraculously surviving with barely a scratch. It is not her time yet, there is still much to learn and share.She grew up in her teens still in conflict, confused, fighting. Her heart wants to open but her body is frozen. When her body is ready, her heart is two steps behind. She is broken, fragmented. There is no harmony. She does not feel worthy enough to take up space, she is unsure why she is here. She has misinterpreted that to be loved you need to give all that you are, and even more than you have.

Her fragility misled her to believe that to be whole we must seek completion from the outside. Yet all the searching, seeking, discovering, told her otherwise. Nothing and no one can complete us, without ourselves first realizing the fullness within.

Therefore, broken, in heart, in body, she returns within. Fragmented, she pieced the soul back together with bleeding hands. She finds that some pieces cannot be found and others will always be imperfect, but now she can feel her heart again.

The woman within her is vibrant and dynamic, strong. She is fully open and totally in femaleness to receive. She is love in stillness and compassion. In every heart beat, she continues to tread on the path, simply for her own survival. Although without much angst, the rebellion is there, silent.

With each step she walks, she also holds the hands of all the women who have been experiencing similar. She strips her roles, after being in all of them—the virgin, the whore, the dakini, the lover, the daughter, the wife, the mother, but none of them can fully express her. She rather just calls herself, a woman, an eternal symbol of the moon.

She can feel every heart of every woman. All the madness, the lack of self-love, the feeling of unworthiness, the pulsating desires, the suffocating jealousy. She may not understand, but she accepts. She cries in pain but she accepts. And this acceptance has led her where she is here now.
She will continue to walk on this path, with her arms outstretched. And in her heart, she knows the beauty, the grandiosity, the breath-taking grace and deep inner strength she feels of the female race, will be honored in much greater magnitude when we begin to see ourselves truly, face to face.