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兩極

再遇秘魯

心橋

心歸何處

Reconnection

The journey in life does not commence nor end with a physical journey. It begins much before a trip and continues after all returns to normal. Yet, what is normal? My trips to Peru began 5 years ago, and the journey has never ended, and each time after a physical journey, the immense work begins. My life has never been the same, and I would not wish for anything else.

My most recent trip to this land of my heart, is very special. The work has begun far and deep on the journey, and I know it is because the time has come. The time has come for me only because now I am ready. I am ready to demonstrate to myself the shaman within. I am ready to live each moment of the divinity that I am.

Never are two journeys the same. And never do I visit this land feeling I know it entirely. The earth is changing every moment. I recognized that on this journey, even physical structures have changed in a way I found surprising. There is so much learning on each trip, I cannot even begin to articulate. All learning is a reflection to myself, who I am, where I am at…and where would I like to be fully. I meet beautiful people and souls over and over again. Those I have known since years ago, I discover them anew every time. And I continue to meet new people and hearts. What I am truly meeting, through these souls, is also a part of myself. The learning is unending, at times challenging, but always it is for my own growth if I wish it to be.

This is a truly special trip, one which after 5 years, my spirit is finally not resisting to return with my body to Hong Kong. This in itself, is an immense growth. To be able to have enough trust within, to know that I am safe to return to my place of abode, by being geographically far from the Andes.

This does not mean that being away from the land which carries so much of my soul, is easy. It is not. I still have to remind myself more so at times than others, intently but also gently, that this is a learning, an immense one. But like all other opportunities to learn, there is nothing I need to do more, but to be willing to be present to it, and to open my heart to its message.

What Peru has initiated for me in these years, is a reconnection within. However much I love a place, a person, an experience; and however much I dread or grief about others, ultimately, I have to bring that back within. Because eventually nothing matters but what is inside of us. To reconnect the external with the internal, to reintegrate all realities into the One Life. And for anything to harmonize, my lesson is to be as present to them in equal attention. To love the human realm and its madness with equal gusto to the spirit realm and its madness. Or bliss. Or both.

And I am much looking forward to be the Reconnection.

Re-integration–journal of the heart

Physically, I am now in Puno, Peru.  Puno is a very special place for me.  It is where Lake Titicaca is situated, the energy here propels me to be clear about my feelings.  The Lake is like a mirror for me, there is no hiding or avoiding when I am in Puno.  This time I am in Puno alone, I have a lot of time to be on my own, to feel and to feel some more.
I have probably experienced the deepest of what love is, here in Puno.  And I continue to.  When I mention love, it is not only physical love that I refer to.  I have experienced in both physical and non-physical ways, that of divine love here.  It is a connecting web of unity of colors so incredible that I can only describe myself as being completely blown away.  In this experience, I know what it is to cry and laugh at the same time when one is utterly touched to the core.  As esoteric as it sounds, I not only saw but I have touched this connecting web with all beings in existence.  Unity is very real for me.

In our third dimensional experience, we were born to learn and perpetuate separation.  We have a nationality, we have a blood family, we have a religion.  We have a a tribe of friends, a close partner or spouse, a community of some sort.  We pledge our sovereignty or devotion to something, and on the other hand, we reject those who do not belong.  If we stop being friends with someone, we have to reject that person, whether it be out of disinterest or fear of being hurt.

But separation as much as it is innate in our lives, is purely a fictitious phenomenon, when one has seen and touched what is connecting us all.  We are connected, no matter how separative our actions tend to be in this reality.  Unity, has been misinterpreted as grouping together like-mindedness in the external reality to support a certain idea.  Yet when different groups have different mentalities, how is true oneness going to prevail?  The truth is, unity has been there to begin with.  And it is with our soul’s recognition that we are all one already, then this natural progression of honoring this connection within, will lead to actions which are truly unified.

In-truth, we do not require physical proximity to be connected.  Even the greatest love can be experienced the same, despite time and space differences.  Only as human beings, we doubt.  If only we could trust in the fullness of unity, then we could choose according to our preferences in relationships.  We could choose to enjoy close physical contact with another.  We could choose conscious monogamy.  We could choose conscious polygamy.  Or not.  However we choose, we are connected.  When we no longer exist in the consciousness of separation, none of our choices will separate us.  And we choose for ourselves solely, while honoring fully the choices of others.

Re-integration could be a physical coming together of people.  It could also be a strengthening of our hearts, in knowing that true unity cannot suffer with distance nor time.

被大地挑選

在傳統秘魯安第斯文化裡，他們的大地工作者是被挑選的。這些人一般會受到大自然裡的考驗，而仍活過來，把經歷分享。例如，被雷電擊中，不止一趟、兩趟，而是三趟，卻仍生存的例子。傳統相信，這些人是大地挑選來分享她的智慧的使者。於田間生活的歲月，不但預備了我的心，更預備好我跟秘魯的會面。

在田裡的第二年，懷胎七月的時候，正好是納秋，酷熱的氣溫在無預兆之下舜間轉涼。那天天氣裡的變化，令我有點莫名不安。清晨，農場裡的十二隻狗和三隻貓正期待著我給他們煮早飯。預備好給牠們的田間蔬菜及糙米飯，突然聽到一頭狗女的慘叫聲。我把她抱起，看見她腳蹲受了輕傷，不知是怎弄傷的……正想找點藥膏給牠塗，田裡一陣風把竹林吹動，心怔了一下。那天田間只有我和一位工友，因為肚子開始大，較操重的工夫由工友幫忙，我便照顧貓、狗、人和他們的膳食。我叫那狗女，牠無影無蹤，我心感不妙，到處找。結果在書房門前找到她，一身糞便，已死掉。死於眼鏡王蛇的劇毒。我睛天霹歷，傷心欲絕。那天於農田裡，我經歷了一個重要的考驗。我看見了大地的每一面，不只是生，還有死。

我得明白且接受大自然裡的所有定律。那秋，田間的蛇狗持續了一連串的大戰，結果死了七頭狗，兩絛蛇。有一晚入黑後回到農場，因為等不到伙伴的回來，心神有點彷彿。狗吠不停，為了避免在夜間放牠們到田裡，開閘時注意カ落於狗隻上而非門框處，把手放在門上一推的剎那，便感到那一叮。把手電筒一照，眼前就是一絛竹青色的蛇！我知道這種顏色的蛇，若蛇尾是紅的オ有毒。再照，尾的確是紅色！我感到一陣暈玄，眼前的一切在旋轉，我的天！我的孩子！我獨個在農場，在心神徹底的慌亂中，我只想到肚裡的孩子。在生命即將臨近的時候，死亡是很難被同時談論的。但於自然裡，生死平等，未知死，焉知生？其實我並不知道青竹蛇毒會否致命，但因為之前狗與蛇的經歷，讓我連結起被蛇咬與死亡的結論。我存活於大地裡，一直受她照料及保護，我知道她不會如此離棄我。但倘若我真的需要因這經歷而離世，我也只能接受。在一片迷糊中，我在救護車上不斷喃喃念起大悲咒。

結果，經歷了最黑暗的一夜，我與兒子也活過來。有朋友提意在農地範圍灑上硫黃，把蛇隔離。我說不，我希望跟蛇能再和諧並存。我要放下的是恐懼的設定。我要完全接納的也是自己的恐懼設定。從此，兒子與我體內也流著蛇的藥(Snake Medicine)。在印第安文化裡，蛇藥是轉化的能量。任何所謂「毒藥」，其實也是治愈，關鍵就在乎於其轉化(transformation)。同樣地，在安第斯傳統裡，蛇是地下世界的圖騰動物，象徵著把困境與黑暗轉化成智慧。現今，我深心尊重蛇的能量。而再遇上的蛇，它們經常也出現及停留在我的週遭。生命的奧妙，往往令人莫名謙卑。

在薩滿文化，象徵式的死是很重要的課題。它代表著一份對自我的釋放，讓靈魂容入偉大的宇宙智慧裡憶起已遺忘了的知識，肉体的渺少在無限的連結中自然顯現。所以象徵式的死是重新的門，也是更多學習与頓悟的開端。是很神聖的。那秋經歷的「死」，給我開啟了日後更多的重生机會。在安第斯山脈裡的亞馬遜森林，在4000米的高山上，在的的喀喀湖的懷抱內，在最翻騰的心裏，一次再次的机會讓我去解化已舊的思維設定，讓我重新把自我重組，更真更熱烈地去活。

被大地挑选

A journey of livingness

I am a terrible tourist.

I do not like to travel as a tourist, where one cramps many activities into a short time just to be able to say I have been there, seen that, done that.

I enjoy to live. In a pace where life takes me, sometimes leisurely, savoring each moment with lusciousness; other times reminding myself to simply take a breath lest I forget to inhale amidst chaos.

I enjoy to feel. Simply because this is the way I am. I am disinterested in superficial appearances, be it a person, a place, an object; and external realities do not convince me in any way, unless I have felt into the hearts of all. I will listen to words and poems, but language only touch my heart when the intention is spoken with love.

I am here because of love. The love which is within me and you to begin with. It is not something separate from us, although we were brought up to believe that. It cannot be given to us by a third party, neither man nor God. When we remember the love within us, then we can share it constantly in a special synergy between another and with God.

It is with love that I journey, simply and always.

And it is with the intention to remember love, to be love, to be in livingness, that I journey.

My journey can be mundane every day beingness, or it could be travelling to the other side of the planet; however and wherever, alone or with company, each moment is lived with the intention to remember who I am, who we are.

Six weeks I have been here, in Peru. My dear brother said, this is the trip you have truly enjoyed. I have experienced the tourist parts in joy simply for the experience of navigating another reality, albeit one a little less accustomed for me. I lived with my heart connected to this land, by feeling this land, its people, its culture, its ways. Its energies run through my blood, I am one with them, their idiosyncrasies, their food, their hearts.

This is the trip I have truly enjoyed, because this time I had the opportunity to see who I am. I have been blessed by the universe to have the chance to navigate many unexpected and challenging situations. And with the land and the elements as my guide, with the support of its people and their big hearts, I have come a step closer to seeing my own heart, and the strength within. I am not alone, and I have never been. What is strength is a unity within hearts, those hearts which have recognized one another. What is strength is also the impulse to serve in further connection with other hearts.

The land, her people have opened their hearts in connection with mine, impulsing me with a deep strength to carry on, to continue to share with those afar. And it is my service to simply continue to be who I am. To carry on to travel as how my soul knows, to be in livingness, in patience and with more patience. A connection happens when there is deep understanding, we simply understand without needing to try. Then we simply be and shine and connect as who we are.