I am ready

Every time I feel alone, you are not there.

I wish to turn to someone, and you are not there.

I want to hold your hand, you are not there.

You, are not a person.

You, are the reminder to me, that all that is external is unreal.

The external does not define me, it does not enlighten me, it could not wound me, it could never complete me.

In-truth, it could not give me love, but only reflect the love I have within back to me.

On the journey, I am attached to some of you more than others. As the mirror you hold are clearer, more still, and I become deeply mesmerized. But in fact, what I am seeing in you, is what you are reflecting back to me. This only happens, when in-truth, you are still within yourself.

When you are not there in the outside reality, perhaps it is time I am to ready to see myself without any reflections anymore.

Perhaps it means, I now know who I am from the pulsating of my heart.

Perhaps, my beloved, I am ready.

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Initiation

Initiation

We can only continue to see and learn our lessons in each moment of our lives. This we are doing for no one else but ourselves. Everyone who comes into our lives are our mirrors, therefore, every moment we can learn something from everyone, if this is what we choose to do.

If we are always unsatisfied about the world, and see how imperfect everyone else is, guess what the world is reflecting back to us? There may be many aspects the world can become better, so can we become better within ourselves. The world, we cannot change. But, ourselves, we can, through acceptance.

If we do not feel safe in the world, this distrust is rooted within ourselves. Nothing in the external can make us what we are. We are what we are to begin within. This may be something deeply rooted for years, lifetimes, aeons. And if we do not wish to confront it, it will only continue to affect us for the futures to come.

If we see beauty in the world, this is also what is reflected to us from within our hearts. Beauty and love has to first begin within us, and as such, it will also meet us in our physical lives.

Life is not here to be against us. Life is our teacher and every moment it is giving us the opportunity to return to the original state of light and unity we began as. We can choose to disregard the opportunities, to resist them, to run away from them. Or we can choose to see them, acknowledge them, and work on them.

Only intention is necessary. And more and more often, we will witness the clear patterns; we will feel what we can let go to become more free and true to ourselves. We will not be able to continue as who we are before. We may have to face many challenges to return. But we will, with strength and resilience, only because we have moved towards another level already. We yearn for the unity between our hearts and our realities.

The lessons may be hard. They may even feel impossible. Yet when we realize the true state of who we are, nothing can be more painful than being separated from this state. We are so much more than we can ever imagine ourselves to be. Our light is so much brighter than our physical eyes can witness, and the colors define what is beauty and love. And then we fully understand, life is not about going anywhere, but it is a returning to who we always have been.

Every initiation begins with a personal choice and completes with our inner strength.

Being Met

There are some moments when we feel the journey is especially solitary. These are the moments when the re-union is near, if we do not allow ourselves to give into the distorted energies of emotional attachment. I can feel the tribe so near, so close to my heart. When I stretch out my arms, I can almost touch the unity. The heart like a fountain satiates and overflows its velvety warmth, cascading, touching, caressing, always in tenderness.

If we are born to return, by newly returning within, to my home, my heart; this is now a returning towards a same song, a common language which is not spoken nor sung. The yearning is like roaring lava, unbearable in heat, intense in energy, fluid in movement, fiery in form. Yet also fully receptive in femaleness, in waiting, in anticipation, in gestation. Ready to be taken and consumed in utmost surprise and gentleness; in passion and wonder.

When we are fully in our solitude, when we are loving each breath of aloneness deeply, the time of re-union is near. The tribe is in our heart, it always has been. When we have all met ourselves nakedly; the time to meet each other face to face, is here.

Photo: CK (Secret Nine Productions)

Written on New Moon 1st partial eclipse of June 2011