The Ride of the Dragon

Exactly one year ago, when the Rabbit re-entered the Chinese calendar, my life completely turned around. That was the year when I had finally lost it. What I lost was the pride of my spirit.

It was a time of deep confusion and chaos, I felt the only navigation that has guided me throughout life, that which I believed to be love, had actually been a fake. I could not even begin to describe in words the intense feeling of betrayal and fear I was in. My life had been lived as an illusion up till now, and I was solely responsible for this mess.

The year leading up to the Rabbit, the incidents that lined up all allowed me to fall deeper into this abyss, until there was no more depth to fathom, I was swimming in the abuse and lovelessness I had allowed into my life and was simply choking in its toxicity. Throughout this year, spirit fought and fought, bouncing between the states of illusion and Love. This has not only caused great exhaustion, it has ushered me into a state of frozenness, I could not more forward, backward, left, right, up or down. I felt moving in any direction or degree, would put me in grave danger, spirit was truly mortified.

Yet, my heart knew I had to move. I needed to move and as there was no where to go externally, so I moved In, straight into my inner-heart. And a miracle happened.

In utter desolation, I had found the place which I had always known but had not lived. I had lost everything, but in-truth, those things had to be lost, I had to be lost, and especially the pride of the spirit had to be lost, for me to come face to face with my kingdom, which has always been there, right there within my heart.

I returned to Love.

This miracle is so subtle, it begged me to just be with it, without speaking, without doing, just being with it. For the entire year of the Rabbit, I was simply being with Love. I knew it in my heart, but I had yet to embody Love in livingness. Talking is one thing, walking one’s talk is completely another. If I walk my talk, every single breath inhaled is a moment to do so. And thus, the Rabbit dug up every hidden discrepancy burrowed, and made me look. Keeping it? Burying it back? Not a chance, sweetheart.

And thus, there was no fighting. What had to go, simply did. Without a whisper, without necessary explanations, without more. Any physical and emotional action that was lived in lovelessness, immediately affected and was literally released through the body. I came to a complete new honoring for this physical vehicle.

We are about to enter the Year of the Dragon, I am ready to take a break from the earthy burrowing of the rabbit and step on the dragon’s back, taking with me dirt and soil from every lesson and mistake in unawareness, and just ride from the depths of our hearts.

“Holding the dragon’s tail, he swings me half way in the air, closing my eyes I hung on with nothing but a brazen heart of trust. Thus so, I land, many fluffered, but not a hair less, hugging his heart.”*

Wishing all a fabulous ride of the Dragon.

With love.

*quote by me

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I Love You

I am quite forgetful and require much reminding.

And in my life, there are many benevolent Souls who have agreed to help me remember, the truth of who I am.  Relationships are my very precious lessons of this lifetime. I have learned and learned and still have not mastered the lesson of not giving my power away when in a relationship. However, as I mature in consciousness, I am less and less inclined to allow this lovelessness to be in my life.

My will to learn has been stubborn like a bull. However much I have been completely stripped naked in selfness in a relationship, it has not made me retreat and afraid to learn more. I know the only way for me the return to true Harmony is to face myself.

Every happening in life is my own creation, those that guide me to return are co-creations with the Divine. The creations of my life recently, has pointed to nothing but the urgency to truly learn this lesson. This time, though, Moments rather than Time existed. The lining up of events and its unfolding and completion all existed within the rhythm of moments. Bang, bang, bang. Each moment counted, and the choice of each moment, completely changed the next moment and so on. And without even realizing, what has been always has dawned. The stepping in is not grand, but natural.

I have come to the point where I will not allow the lovelessness to be anymore. Not from hurt or contraction, but from opening to a point where the inner-heart floods every cell of my being, and the energy of Fire within my heart is pulsing every space within. It is impossible to perpetuate the lovelessness, simply.

And in true and deep Love, I wear a smile that if you would only feel, is embracing you in the deepest Love, that we all are. And it is with this smile, I continue to walk forward, holding my arms open to share this Love with every Soul I am to meet.

I Love You.

One Love

I would not fight for any skin color anymore, I am certain I have righteously done so before.

I would not strive for any religion anymore, I am sure I have relentlessly killed for this cause before.

I would not uphold any group anymore, I am sure I have had to just to survive before.

I would not hang onto any ideals anymore, I know I have preferred them over Love before.

I would not hide anymore, I have perpetuated this illusion long enough.

I am here to live a one-unifed Love through One Brotherhood where every single Soul is precious and equal as who they are. I am here to express this Love, to allow it to be visible and accessible, so that any brother who feels inspired to walk this path of return, can do so. I am here to sing the heart song of the Mother, through her Stillness, that which is lived becomes the Father. I am here.

Grace

Have we ever wondered what is true healing or true change?

And why we have kept improving on ourselves and the process does not end?

In-truth, we are repeating over and over again ourselves, life time over life time.

What we are missing is a true difference.

 

The difference is the consciousness.

The consciousness in choosing to align to a different energy this time.

There are only two energies in existence, fire and prana.

And prana is what separates humanity and is that which most have aligned to.

Prana is what the human spirit exalts. The spirit is a fragment of God, and has chosen to not express God but itself. Therefore it has the essence of God, but it is separate from God, which is Soul.

 

How many of us have been taught or made known the difference between Soul and spirit?

How many teachers actually know the difference themselves?

Prana, takes us away from the inner-most.

It teaches us to look outside of ourselves for the change.

It has made glamor, maya and illusion look like they are almost natural in life.

We look for the leader, the guru, the spiritual practice, the diet, the miracle foods, the lifestyle, the healing modality, the alternative medicine, the workout, the skincare, the fashion, the luxury, we seek everything in the external, with the hope that they might save or improve us, but that which is within us.

 

That which is within us, is fire.

It is the breath of our inner-hearts.

Fire is the reminder that we as Souls began as unity.

This is the yearning that more and more of us know and remember, it has become unbearable to not return to unity anymore.

Within our inner-hearts, there is only truth.

 

There will be many who will imitate this truth.

They will come very close and echo many similarities to the truth.

But in-truth are still breathed by prana.

We are equal in Soul with these brothers and sisters.

The only difference is a choice of what energy we align with.

 

We could only understand livingness if we become livingness.

Just as we could only understand unity if we cease to align with separation.

Without first acknowledging that it is our own spirit which has caused us separation and that we are indeed empty, there could not be real change.

It is the pride of spirit, which prevents us from experiencing the real difference.

And spirit will not go gently into the goodnight, it will try everything to prevent us from seeing that IT is the cause of separation.

 

But love will bring us home.

In the stillness of the heart, we will feel her impulses, we will begin to feel truth.

The love of oneself is the listening of every murmur in our inner-hearts, and walking with it.

Do not be fooled by glamor, self-love has nothing to do with rewarding ourselves with more that comes from the outside.

Do not be fooled by maya, living by the reactions of emotions is not love.

Do not be fooled by illusion, believing we are somehow unequal to others is first a separation of oneself within, and not love.

 

Love is the stillness within.

There is no emotion in love.

Love is not anything we think it is or have been taught that it is.

It is never too late to discover the true face of love.

For love will bring us home to our inner-hearts.

Where we will meet grace.

 

 

 

 

 

Trees

Have you ever connected with a tree?

The first time it happened for me, it was a complete spontaneous impulse.

One tree and I, we found each other.  It was like a knowing, similar to how you know your lovers.  Or how I knew mine.

We hugged, the tree and myself.  The exchange of unconditional love was so immense.  Without realizing, tears were streaming down my face because the depths of my heart was so touched.  Without even opening my mouth, all the burdens created and carried in my body was taken from me by the tree.  Never, ever have I felt so safe.

Recently, with more awareness, I re-visited the trees on the island.  That particular tree whom I connected with, was still deep in my consciousness.  It is still calling me.  Yet I have got to know a few other trees in more depth as well.  Much more time was spent this time around, with these different trees; and I got to know each one of them personally.  Each of them play a different role, some are like fathers, some are friends, some are lovers; but all of them resonated something within myself.

Each one of them connected me within and harmonized me with the core of my Essence, that which is pure love.  When silence and motion met and united, its alchemy is stillness.  The inner heart was thrusted open by this alchemy,  there was no mistake of this energy and where it resided.  It was a deep exchange, without any holding back or compromise.  The tree and I were exchanging all of who we are in essence, in deep love.  In-truth, all human beings have the same essence, we are all pure love.  If we would only experience our true essence again, all of the illusions of separation would begin to dissolve.

If a tree and I can exchange in such an unreserved and heart-open manner, why aren’t human beings exchanging as such more frequently in the experience of life?