Until next time

I carried a rock with me the first time I went to Machu Picchu, Peru, the trip I took five years ago that changed my life.

Five years ago Machu Picchu was very different from today. One afternoon, I slept with this rock on the high pastures of this ancient Incan ruin. I dreamt while I slept, woke up with tears streaming down my face, and from that moment on, I lived this dream in waking reality.

A few weeks ago, this rock which has always been guarding my altar called me. When I looked at it, it has split into two. What has been one is now two.
In essence we are always one, but for service, now is the time to geographically and physically separate to share who we are individually.

In-truth, Love cannot ever diminish. And in my love, go forth wherever you are called, whoever you have to be with, for this dream to be lived. Until next time, beloved.

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Reconnection

The journey in life does not commence nor end with a physical journey. It begins much before a trip and continues after all returns to normal. Yet, what is normal? My trips to Peru began 5 years ago, and the journey has never ended, and each time after a physical journey, the immense work begins. My life has never been the same, and I would not wish for anything else.

My most recent trip to this land of my heart, is very special. The work has begun far and deep on the journey, and I know it is because the time has come. The time has come for me only because now I am ready. I am ready to demonstrate to myself the shaman within. I am ready to live each moment of the divinity that I am.

Never are two journeys the same. And never do I visit this land feeling I know it entirely. The earth is changing every moment. I recognized that on this journey, even physical structures have changed in a way I found surprising. There is so much learning on each trip, I cannot even begin to articulate. All learning is a reflection to myself, who I am, where I am at…and where would I like to be fully. I meet beautiful people and souls over and over again. Those I have known since years ago, I discover them anew every time. And I continue to meet new people and hearts. What I am truly meeting, through these souls, is also a part of myself. The learning is unending, at times challenging, but always it is for my own growth if I wish it to be.

This is a truly special trip, one which after 5 years, my spirit is finally not resisting to return with my body to Hong Kong. This in itself, is an immense growth. To be able to have enough trust within, to know that I am safe to return to my place of abode, by being geographically far from the Andes.

This does not mean that being away from the land which carries so much of my soul, is easy. It is not. I still have to remind myself more so at times than others, intently but also gently, that this is a learning, an immense one. But like all other opportunities to learn, there is nothing I need to do more, but to be willing to be present to it, and to open my heart to its message.

What Peru has initiated for me in these years, is a reconnection within. However much I love a place, a person, an experience; and however much I dread or grief about others, ultimately, I have to bring that back within. Because eventually nothing matters but what is inside of us. To reconnect the external with the internal, to reintegrate all realities into the One Life. And for anything to harmonize, my lesson is to be as present to them in equal attention. To love the human realm and its madness with equal gusto to the spirit realm and its madness. Or bliss. Or both.

And I am much looking forward to be the Reconnection.

Re-integration–journal of the heart

Physically, I am now in Puno, Peru.  Puno is a very special place for me.  It is where Lake Titicaca is situated, the energy here propels me to be clear about my feelings.  The Lake is like a mirror for me, there is no hiding or avoiding when I am in Puno.  This time I am in Puno alone, I have a lot of time to be on my own, to feel and to feel some more.
I have probably experienced the deepest of what love is, here in Puno.  And I continue to.  When I mention love, it is not only physical love that I refer to.  I have experienced in both physical and non-physical ways, that of divine love here.  It is a connecting web of unity of colors so incredible that I can only describe myself as being completely blown away.  In this experience, I know what it is to cry and laugh at the same time when one is utterly touched to the core.  As esoteric as it sounds, I not only saw but I have touched this connecting web with all beings in existence.  Unity is very real for me.

In our third dimensional experience, we were born to learn and perpetuate separation.  We have a nationality, we have a blood family, we have a religion.  We have a a tribe of friends, a close partner or spouse, a community of some sort.  We pledge our sovereignty or devotion to something, and on the other hand, we reject those who do not belong.  If we stop being friends with someone, we have to reject that person, whether it be out of disinterest or fear of being hurt.

But separation as much as it is innate in our lives, is purely a fictitious phenomenon, when one has seen and touched what is connecting us all.  We are connected, no matter how separative our actions tend to be in this reality.  Unity, has been misinterpreted as grouping together like-mindedness in the external reality to support a certain idea.  Yet when different groups have different mentalities, how is true oneness going to prevail?  The truth is, unity has been there to begin with.  And it is with our soul’s recognition that we are all one already, then this natural progression of honoring this connection within, will lead to actions which are truly unified.

In-truth, we do not require physical proximity to be connected.  Even the greatest love can be experienced the same, despite time and space differences.  Only as human beings, we doubt.  If only we could trust in the fullness of unity, then we could choose according to our preferences in relationships.  We could choose to enjoy close physical contact with another.  We could choose conscious monogamy.  We could choose conscious polygamy.  Or not.  However we choose, we are connected.  When we no longer exist in the consciousness of separation, none of our choices will separate us.  And we choose for ourselves solely, while honoring fully the choices of others.

Re-integration could be a physical coming together of people.  It could also be a strengthening of our hearts, in knowing that true unity cannot suffer with distance nor time.

A journey of livingness

I am a terrible tourist.

I do not like to travel as a tourist, where one cramps many activities into a short time just to be able to say I have been there, seen that, done that.

I enjoy to live. In a pace where life takes me, sometimes leisurely, savoring each moment with lusciousness; other times reminding myself to simply take a breath lest I forget to inhale amidst chaos.

I enjoy to feel. Simply because this is the way I am. I am disinterested in superficial appearances, be it a person, a place, an object; and external realities do not convince me in any way, unless I have felt into the hearts of all. I will listen to words and poems, but language only touch my heart when the intention is spoken with love.

I am here because of love. The love which is within me and you to begin with. It is not something separate from us, although we were brought up to believe that. It cannot be given to us by a third party, neither man nor God. When we remember the love within us, then we can share it constantly in a special synergy between another and with God.

It is with love that I journey, simply and always.

And it is with the intention to remember love, to be love, to be in livingness, that I journey.

My journey can be mundane every day beingness, or it could be travelling to the other side of the planet; however and wherever, alone or with company, each moment is lived with the intention to remember who I am, who we are.

Six weeks I have been here, in Peru. My dear brother said, this is the trip you have truly enjoyed. I have experienced the tourist parts in joy simply for the experience of navigating another reality, albeit one a little less accustomed for me. I lived with my heart connected to this land, by feeling this land, its people, its culture, its ways. Its energies run through my blood, I am one with them, their idiosyncrasies, their food, their hearts.

This is the trip I have truly enjoyed, because this time I had the opportunity to see who I am. I have been blessed by the universe to have the chance to navigate many unexpected and challenging situations. And with the land and the elements as my guide, with the support of its people and their big hearts, I have come a step closer to seeing my own heart, and the strength within. I am not alone, and I have never been. What is strength is a unity within hearts, those hearts which have recognized one another. What is strength is also the impulse to serve in further connection with other hearts.

The land, her people have opened their hearts in connection with mine, impulsing me with a deep strength to carry on, to continue to share with those afar. And it is my service to simply continue to be who I am. To carry on to travel as how my soul knows, to be in livingness, in patience and with more patience. A connection happens when there is deep understanding, we simply understand without needing to try. Then we simply be and shine and connect as who we are.

A land of learning

In Peru, I always have the biggest smiles.

Yet not a lot of people know, it is also in Peru I experience the deepest tribulations. The external sometimes only tell us half the story.

In this land, the macro cosmos and the micro cosmos are never separated.  We have the upper world and in reflection, there is also the under world.  Only by balancing and harmonizing these two, do we experience what is the present world for us.

The energies of this land constantly urge me to go deeper, to stay a little longer, to look at myself a bit more nakedly, to open my heart just a little wider.  With the connection of the land, the open arms of the brothers and sisters, I am reborn over and over again.

In Peru, I always have the biggest smiles, because here I have unlimited opportunities to rise above myself, to merge all dualities, to bridge the sky and the earth, to test my love over and over again.  In this land, I am walking into authenticity, where true power arises from.  More importantly, the learning is always mine.

Wayra

I love Wind.  In the Quechua language, Wind is “Wayra”.

The first time I heard this word, it was in a ceremony with a few hundred people in Kutimbo, an open space for ancient tombs high on the plateaus in Puno, Peru.  The first time I said this word during this ceremony, the spirit of wind ran through my body and intoxicated my soul.

My love for wind came from my inherent intimacy with it.  Like wind, I have always felt more natural to expand into everything; to impress without being visible; to be everywhere in utmost freedom.  Even though I love wind, I used to feel intimidated by it.  It was at times too strong when I did not know how to be with it, and either fought or ran from it.

Until exactly a year ago, in one of the most difficult periods in my existing life, I made a decision to be in the energies of Peru during the Winter Solstice of the South.  This was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made in my life.  And it was one of the loneliest journeys I have ever embarked on.  With this decision, I had consciously allowed myself to experience two Winter Solstices in one year.  Winter Solstice is the day when the sun is the farthest away, where that part of the globe experience the least sun.  This is the day when we hold onto the energies of the dark .  It is an opportunity to drop into the greatest depths of stillness, to remain in the womb, to gestate, to receive, to feel.

I took this journey with my son, who also represented the sun for me.  He is young, a little sun, and perfect to accompany me on a journey towards the deepest and darkest within my soul, for journeys into our lower world is best done in as much solitude as possible.  We arrived on the highlands of Sacsayhuaman in Cusco.  I could feel the sky embracing my wounds.  The sun was no where to be seen, but the wind was vehement.  It was adamant, pushing me relentlessly.  I was very cold.  And within my bones, I was already frozen.  I wanted to run, but was unable to move.

With me was a young shaman friend.  I said, I could never really understand the wind.  I love it yet I fear it.  He said, close your eyes.  The wind continued to howl, without the Andean sun, everything felt incomplete, I felt incomplete, I was weak.  So I closed my eyes, and immediately, the wind came.  It teased me, cajoled me, laughed at my fragility.  I did not have sufficient energy to respond.  On the verge of tears, I began to breathe in deep awareness.  I began to breathe in the wind.  I felt it merging with me.  As I breathed deeper, I became warmer and the fire returned.  I was working with the wind, and I understood what it meant to become the element.  I became wind.

My eyes glistened with tears when I opened them.  Touched by the lesson from wind, even though night has already befallen, I did not feel cold anymore.  The fire within my heart has begun to return, on a day where light was the least sufficient geographically and astrologically.  My heart was so full of gratitude, for Wayra, beautiful and free Wayra.

It has been one year.  No matter where I am geographically, despite how the climate is, I am now no longer separate from Wayra.  We have learned to become each other and work in harmony with each other.  The intensity of wind brought about by the monsoon climate these days, once again brought me close to Wayra.  And dancing around it, it still continues to intoxicate, its laughter shrilling in my ears, its shadow lingering long after its kiss.

Wayra has taught me that my fire is within me.  At times I still forget and long to be made whole.  But wholeness is such only when it does not depend on anything.  In-truth, this is the teaching of the elements.  Only wholeness can be truly shared and united in harmony and love.

Remember wholeness.  Become wholeness.  Wholeness can never be depleted, it does not need, it is satiating and can always be shared.  Like the wind, it is infinite, encompassing and eternally present.

Harmony

I have a story to tell.  This could be your story too.

This particular story is about a girl who was born believing that everyone is somehow the same, in some big way.  Astrologically she is born a Virgo, hence, understanding the mechanics of things is important for her; yet for the bulk of her life she has also been blessed with a strong heart and an inherent trust in life.    This trust has brought her what is of a knowing.  Knowing is not knowledge, it also does not require proof.  Simply put, it is just the way it is.  The way is clear and the heart is still.   There is no wavering, only an arrow-pointed determination towards a goal.

Years ago she felt a knowing in Mother Nature.  She knows she is safe within the Mother.  This is not knowledge, for the girl cannot proof it.  All she knew was she had to return home, to a place where she is no longer fragmented anymore.  She knew she had to return before she can move anywhere forward.

It was such a knowing that brought her back to Nature.  The girl was with the Mother always, she does not wish to be anywhere else.  Within the Mother, there is a mutual exchange of love.  Over the years, the girl has moved many times, changed jobs, met different people;  yet she carried Mother Nature within her, everywhere she went.  The Mother is in her when she moved, danced, sang, wrote, worked; the Mother is also in her house, her body, her clothes, her food.  She breathes the Mother and the Mother flows in her blood.

In truth, the Mother is everywhere, in every cell of every person.  Never had it crossed the girl’s mind that it was considered “unconventional” to quit her job in the fashion industry to go farming, or to live in a remote island where the nearest transportation to civilization was an hours’ walk over mountains.  Sometimes she forgets that she lives in Hong Kong rather than in the deserts of Mexico or on the mountains of the Andes.

Everyone has their comfortable and habitual way of life, and this is the life of the girl.  Every day she wakes up at the crack of dawn to walk in the crisp cool air beginning the morning in communion with Pachamama.  Some mornings the exchange with the Mother is deep in harmony, other mornings there is much discordance.  Yet there is no where to hide within the Mother, only more openings.  In moments of exhaustion or emotional disturbances, instead of stagnation, the girl chooses to continue walking.  Without thinking, her two feet guide while her heart takes a rest.  During thresholds when she is close to either breaking down or turning back, the girl continues walking.  There comes a place and a time, when the exhaustion magically turns into an opening.  It transforms into harmony.

Hong Kong is an opportune land for technology and modernity, and within its financial backdrops and glamor-laced and polluted air, the girl is now at home here.  Harmony can only come from the inside.  Whether on the top of Machu Picchu or at a beach on Lamma Island, the harmony is one and the same.  Harmony is permanent, whereas peace is momentary.  If Hong Kong is the place where she is to be presently for learning and for service, this is where she will be.  And she feels the love of the Mother as immensely here as when she is breathing thin air, hugging the sun and the sky in Peru.

This is what the girl feels life is about, to be who she is from the depths of her heart, knowing that she is in unity, no matter where she is and how each day presents itself.  Honoring her body and be grateful for its ability to sense and reflect both what is happening within and without energetically–individually, universally and collectively.  Allowing herself time for solitude yet also be in union and communion with Mother Nature and all its beings.

The girl knows.  She knows this is all a time of preparation and arduous training; she only smiles because honestly she is enjoying every moment of it, and this is all that matters to her.

Photo: Wini

Peru and Love

Peru came into my consciousness five years ago.

I came home.

The meeting resulted in an intense relationship with Pachamama, the heart was opened to an extent unimaginable.

From the initial intense opening, the love of Pachamama flowing in my veins, the connection to the energies of this land was made.  Pachamama reminds me of the love that I am, that we all are, from the divinity we began as.  And this love is such that we all yearn to return to.  Through this love and wisdom, the experience of life can no longer be one that supports continued separation.

To return to unity, it is the inner heart that has to be returned to.  This is not something outside of us, yet, to know love in its entirety, first, we need to self-love and love others, which in relation to whole love, is incomplete.  For me, Peru is the bridge that opened up my physical and energetic heart, for more awareness that it is the divinity of the inner heart that is calling my return.