The Ride of the Dragon

Exactly one year ago, when the Rabbit re-entered the Chinese calendar, my life completely turned around. That was the year when I had finally lost it. What I lost was the pride of my spirit.

It was a time of deep confusion and chaos, I felt the only navigation that has guided me throughout life, that which I believed to be love, had actually been a fake. I could not even begin to describe in words the intense feeling of betrayal and fear I was in. My life had been lived as an illusion up till now, and I was solely responsible for this mess.

The year leading up to the Rabbit, the incidents that lined up all allowed me to fall deeper into this abyss, until there was no more depth to fathom, I was swimming in the abuse and lovelessness I had allowed into my life and was simply choking in its toxicity. Throughout this year, spirit fought and fought, bouncing between the states of illusion and Love. This has not only caused great exhaustion, it has ushered me into a state of frozenness, I could not more forward, backward, left, right, up or down. I felt moving in any direction or degree, would put me in grave danger, spirit was truly mortified.

Yet, my heart knew I had to move. I needed to move and as there was no where to go externally, so I moved In, straight into my inner-heart. And a miracle happened.

In utter desolation, I had found the place which I had always known but had not lived. I had lost everything, but in-truth, those things had to be lost, I had to be lost, and especially the pride of the spirit had to be lost, for me to come face to face with my kingdom, which has always been there, right there within my heart.

I returned to Love.

This miracle is so subtle, it begged me to just be with it, without speaking, without doing, just being with it. For the entire year of the Rabbit, I was simply being with Love. I knew it in my heart, but I had yet to embody Love in livingness. Talking is one thing, walking one’s talk is completely another. If I walk my talk, every single breath inhaled is a moment to do so. And thus, the Rabbit dug up every hidden discrepancy burrowed, and made me look. Keeping it? Burying it back? Not a chance, sweetheart.

And thus, there was no fighting. What had to go, simply did. Without a whisper, without necessary explanations, without more. Any physical and emotional action that was lived in lovelessness, immediately affected and was literally released through the body. I came to a complete new honoring for this physical vehicle.

We are about to enter the Year of the Dragon, I am ready to take a break from the earthy burrowing of the rabbit and step on the dragon’s back, taking with me dirt and soil from every lesson and mistake in unawareness, and just ride from the depths of our hearts.

“Holding the dragon’s tail, he swings me half way in the air, closing my eyes I hung on with nothing but a brazen heart of trust. Thus so, I land, many fluffered, but not a hair less, hugging his heart.”*

Wishing all a fabulous ride of the Dragon.

With love.

*quote by me

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Service

I may be silly to be fully transparent in a public forum space, where it is mostly used to market businesses or to experiment with constructed personas.

I may be naïve to continue to trust that human nature is pure and have things stolen repeatedly.

I may be mad to choose a life that is so close to the edge, that sometimes I cannot tell which reality I am in, because I am not only in one.

I may be crazy to be speechless for days, except with the eagles and my son.

Or care to talk about things which cannot be responded to.

I may be weird to find it important to fully feel all my hurts, without any comforting distractions.

I may be impossible to be working and mothering and cooking and walking over mountains four times a day, and still travel when the heart or a place calls.

Or more impossible to have no time for physical relating at all.

I may be unbelievable to feel satiating gratitude for a venemous snake bite when seven months pregnant.

I may be a fool to not know where my next step will be.

I may be all of the above.

But none of them can deter me from the Fire within my heart and, from service.

Connecting Hearts

2012 is my year of connecting hearts and people.

The unity consciousness aligned and dawned upon this body around 3 years ago, and that year, the project 1heartperu was birthed.

Come this year, this project is expanding beyond Peru.

Presently, like 1heartperu, this is a one woman project. By a woman who has a burning heart, and a son who is her travelling buddy.

We may not have excess monetary surpluses, but every penny that the Universe gifts from the natural flow of our energies, we devote into the project. The project, in-truth, is simply our livingness.

The Soul has spoken to us that this year, we are to serve in the Americas. So we return with a smile, and say thank you, let’s go.

A world map downloaded and screen-saved, I gaze at it every day and feel where we shall begin.

And a mountain in the Mexican desert has first called us.

The dream is within us. It is not anywhere outside and we are not travelling to search for it. We are dreaming it constantly, by living it, every hour, every day. This dream, we bring with us, anywhere upon the planet we may venture. And through our livingness, we share the dream with all.

It could be a hug, or a kiss hello, it could well be a look into another’s eyes, bare feet on the earth in dance, solo or collaboratively in co-creation.

The dream is Love, it is purely simple and natural. We do not have any fanfare or routines prepared, neither will we have much for attraction. But every moment we are open, to receive every heart that is beating of similar rhythms and singing in harmonics. Similarly, we will be received in the same way.

And continue we will, to dream, with every breath and the fullness of who we are, for the dawning of unity in mankind.

A journey of livingness

I am a terrible tourist.

I do not like to travel as a tourist, where one cramps many activities into a short time just to be able to say I have been there, seen that, done that.

I enjoy to live. In a pace where life takes me, sometimes leisurely, savoring each moment with lusciousness; other times reminding myself to simply take a breath lest I forget to inhale amidst chaos.

I enjoy to feel. Simply because this is the way I am. I am disinterested in superficial appearances, be it a person, a place, an object; and external realities do not convince me in any way, unless I have felt into the hearts of all. I will listen to words and poems, but language only touch my heart when the intention is spoken with love.

I am here because of love. The love which is within me and you to begin with. It is not something separate from us, although we were brought up to believe that. It cannot be given to us by a third party, neither man nor God. When we remember the love within us, then we can share it constantly in a special synergy between another and with God.

It is with love that I journey, simply and always.

And it is with the intention to remember love, to be love, to be in livingness, that I journey.

My journey can be mundane every day beingness, or it could be travelling to the other side of the planet; however and wherever, alone or with company, each moment is lived with the intention to remember who I am, who we are.

Six weeks I have been here, in Peru. My dear brother said, this is the trip you have truly enjoyed. I have experienced the tourist parts in joy simply for the experience of navigating another reality, albeit one a little less accustomed for me. I lived with my heart connected to this land, by feeling this land, its people, its culture, its ways. Its energies run through my blood, I am one with them, their idiosyncrasies, their food, their hearts.

This is the trip I have truly enjoyed, because this time I had the opportunity to see who I am. I have been blessed by the universe to have the chance to navigate many unexpected and challenging situations. And with the land and the elements as my guide, with the support of its people and their big hearts, I have come a step closer to seeing my own heart, and the strength within. I am not alone, and I have never been. What is strength is a unity within hearts, those hearts which have recognized one another. What is strength is also the impulse to serve in further connection with other hearts.

The land, her people have opened their hearts in connection with mine, impulsing me with a deep strength to carry on, to continue to share with those afar. And it is my service to simply continue to be who I am. To carry on to travel as how my soul knows, to be in livingness, in patience and with more patience. A connection happens when there is deep understanding, we simply understand without needing to try. Then we simply be and shine and connect as who we are.